How many times have we been manipulated? And how many times, perhaps unintentionally, have we manipulated someone? Not voluntarily, of course. But it has happened, though. Many times, despite having the evidence under our noses, did we not really understand who we were dealing with? And we got hurt. Or, worse, they did it to us. Was that hurt forgivable? And by whom, then?
Such questions, in clusters, would require the purchase of an entire library of self-help manuals, half a dozen psychology essays, and a subscription to a couple of motivational podcasts. Or – and here is the good news – they can all be condensed into one series: I May Destroy You – trauma and rebirth. Created, written, and starring Michaela Coel, the series was released in 2020 on BBC One and HBO, and also landed on Sky in 2022.
It is not autobiographical, yet it comes perilously close. Coel takes pieces of reality, remixes them with imagination, and builds a narrative brimming with humanity, distortions, confusion, hopes, and contradictions. Everything that makes us people, in short.
There is friendship, the real kind and the supposed kind
Some toxic relationships and others that are unclear. There is violence – suffered and acted out – and there is escaping to social media as a substitute for consolation. Or, there is the attempt to understand something about oneself, often going the wrong way. Yet, despite the chaos, something comes. Not necessarily an answer, but at least a fair question. “I may destroy you,” says the title. I may destroy you. But, surprise, the real defense (and sometimes attack) comes from within us. From our fragility. Even from our awareness or unawareness.
The series does not judge, and that is perhaps its greatest strength. It shows. Represents. Observes. Viewer witnesses a staging of the human, sometimes inhumanly cruel, sometimes disarming in its delicacy. No heroes, but many protagonists. A few villains written in bold, many questionable behaviors, some victims, some executioners. None of the characters seek perfection, if anything, a refuge in the world. And, why not, a refuge within oneself.
As Arabella, the protagonist, says: “you don’t have to forgive. You don’t have to do anything but survive.”
No, for sure I May Destroy You is not a romantic series, not even based on a real-life story, but it can be ruthlessly true. So true that it makes us think that yes, maybe, even without the right motivational manual, we can ask questions. About others, and a little about ourselves. One or two little questions at least…